date: Wednesday, January 12, 2005 @ 1:26 am
title: God's Value-added Death...
Even though the Tsunami was a huge commotion to the world, mine is as well.. Life is full of unexpected activities in conjuction to each other directly or indirectly as well. That's why I need to consercrate myself daily for I have no idea what might happen tomorrrow.
Millions died due to the ignorance of the World. Countless millions live in reverance.. In reverance of what? Who is to say that they are innocent of all these and who is fit to accuse God for the dead?
Who?
No one. Absolutely no one.
If Man obeys God, he has nothing to fear. Not even death.
My Great Aunt passed away quietly in the afternoon on the 8th this month. She had lung cancer, which the medication was unless in preventing further spreading of the cancerous cells thru out her.
Her death spurred a major conflict within the family, everyone was roped into the dispute and conclusion was far from sight.
I was to be blamed for all these.. I shouldn't have fear man, but fear God.
In boldness, I stand. In fearfulness, I fall.
Her death caused me to have a sense of guilt.. I was driven by my ignorance, thus my heart hardened.. This is not Literature. It's reality. I suffered heartaches when in church for discipleship session. I wanted to open my heart to hear the gist, but my hardened heart shut all doors. I was in a turmoil. Not just a emotional distress, physical stress as well, was afflicted upon myself. I had to surrender.. had to...
Finally, Sis Von finished her session and we had extra time.. I immediately requested for permission to do quiet time on the spot. I could not take it anymore.. I could feel every pumping strained on my nerves.. I needed God. Real badly.
Once the permission was given, i faced the nearest wall beside me and I went into deep sorrow and any audible distraction was killing me.. The Holy Spirit was like a bullet train that crashed into me.. I broke down. I was broken and i wept. Pouring buckets of tears and confessing everything.. Ministering took place.. Joy was settling inside me.
Prophesy was spoken - Rebuilding the Walls.. I will be rebuilding the wall of the families, and God's in charge.. I was filled with joy and went to washed up. I was redefined again.
I think.. Death is my weakness. I fear it. When any living thing under the heaven dies.. I will be so afflicted by their death. Haxi.. but that caused me to rely on God more.. So its good weakness that strengthens me thru God....
